Beastiality
by Sibilant Whisper
Summary: It was wrong, it was disgusting, it got on Tala's nerves and it was high time he informed Kai of it. KaiRei YuriyBryan[Shounen ai]


Authoress: Lady Dusk -Raku-

Title: Beastiality

Pairing: Kai/Rei, Yuriy/Bryan

Warning/Note: Shounen ai themes. **_Duh_**. Word 'Bestiality' intentionally misspelled. For purposes even I'm not sure of. Ask my muse. Same for my 'use Tala's Russian name but not Bryan's ' thing I got going on. Deal with it.

Summary: It was wrong. It was disgusting. It got on Tala's nerves. It was high time he informed Kai of it.

Disclaimer: You don't want me to own it. Trust me. It'd be beyblades and butt secks galore.

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**Beastiality**

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Sometimes, being an exceptionally light sleeper sucked ass. It really did. Yuriy could tell you. Even a giggle, like the very one that drifted over from the couch across the room as he tried (and failed) to nap, tended to bother him. Maybe the living room wasn't the best idea. He cursed the lilac haired Russian sleeping away on the remaining space of the couch, head pillowed in _his _lap. Bryan wasn't a deep sleeper unless he was dead tired, but he was definitely not the light sleeper Yuriy was.

And it wasn't _fair_.

A barely stifled giggle, followed by a muffled moan brought him out of his musings. An eye cracked open, revealing a cerulean blue orb that took one glance across the room, and confirmed his suspicions. They were at it again. He frowned, closing his eyes again. This had gone on long enough, it was time someone stopped this.

"Do you two mind?"

A purr ceased halfway. Rei blushed hotly, obviously content with the treatment Kai had just been administering seconds ago. Said teen was giving him a dark look, paused in his assault on the kitten's neck, one hand shamelessly under his shirt. Yuriy could guess where the other hand was bound to end up. Thank goodness Rei had given up trying to cook whenever the Russian was in this particular mood; they'd burn the house down with their lack of 'give-a-damn'. Frankly, he'd rather not die because of one's sex-induced negligence.

Of course he had his own list of things that had slipped his mind whenever Bryan was in the same mood, but he wasn't about to delve into that, thank you very much.

"What, Yuriy?" Kai answered. Like he didn't know. He glared.

"As much as I'd normally relish in being able to tease you mercilessly about your overactive sex drive, Bryan isn't awake to enjoy it with me. You're disturbing me. You wouldn't mind taking it up stairs, would you?" He asked sardonically.

Rei actually looked sympathetic, bless his kitty heart, but all he received from his so-called friend was an eye roll. He resisted the urge of hoping they'd fall right out of his head.

"You play 'match maker' with us and now we're annoying?"

"Yes, because I'm staying in the same house and I much rather enjoy indulging in my own pleasures rather than be a third party to yours…sex fiend." Hmm, looked like he was torn between raising an eyebrow or rolling his eyes aga-- oop, and risen eyebrow he chose. 

"Like you and Bryan don't do the same thing." Said teen awoke at his name being mentioned for the second time. He barely moved, glancing around with half his mind still in la-la-land. Yuriy snorted suddenly. He slid off the couch and left the room, leaving a confused audience behind. Bryan rose an eyebrow and looked at Kai. Kai looked back, hands now around Rei's waist but itching to move. Rei merely blinked, clueless.

No sooner had he left, Yuriy came back carrying something.

"Kai. Heads up." Rei ducked off his lap just in time for the phoenix blader to look up and catch the heavy tome that Yuriy had just _hurled _at him. Damned if that was a 'toss'. He read the cover in puzzlement.

"Yuriy…why did you hand me a book of listed laws and crimes?" The redhead plopped down next to Bryan, arms folded.

"What Bryan and I do at least abides by the law." Was all he said.

"_What--?_"

"Page 148. 2nd column, 3rd paragraph."

Everyone stared, but Kai gave a resigned sigh, and opened the book. Why in the world did he put up with this?

_Page 148..._

_2nd column…3rd paragr--…_

He glanced at Yuriy. Dead serious, yet his blue eyes gave away his mirth. Kai tossed the book to the floor with a heavy 'thud' and left, heading for the stairs that lead to the bedrooms. He gave his boyfriend a pointed look before continuing up. Rei was sorely tempted to follow, but with neko-jin right he was more than curious. He picked up the heavy Russian text and handed it to Bryan (who was just as curious), the unspoken request evident. Yuriy's face gave nothing away, but on the inside he struggled not to laugh. Bryan skimmed a moment before finding the passage and smirking. _Idiot._

He read out loud: "Bestiality. Illegal act of having sexual relations with an animal."

He continued, reading various punishments against the act as Yuriy finally caved in to laughter. Cheeks burning, Rei flung a pillow at the redhead, pleased at the yelp that sounded when it hit its mark.

**-Owari-**

Mmm…okay, first, no idea if or where Bestiality is illegal in certain places, its irrelevant anyway. Second, hope you see the little joke…maybe its only obvious to some of us? This was a random idea that hit me one day, and my funny meter is failing me these days, so yeah. Just enjoy all the happiness while you can. They're wont always be giggles and laughter. :p

Back to the Yuriy but not 'Boris' thing, well, I've had one too many mind scarring incidents where, in searching for 'Yuriy/Boris' material, I've run into the wrong Boris…and seeing _that_ is just eye-burning. So yeah. (and I just realized, Rei didn't speak at all this whole time. Note: Thank you Chibi for that note. Bryan DID speak, gah. XD)

Gomen if it's not the best, I'm trying.

Au revoir! (My French teacher is Australian, kick_ass_. XD)

-LDR-


End file.
